Why did God fill his holy book with retarded fake stories if he wanted me to believe and be saved?

Why did God fill his holy book with moronic fake stories if he wanted me to believe and be saved?

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  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    He was writing for people still in the Bronze Age. All the wacky shit about Adam and Eve and Noah made sense to them back then. If God had written about evolution instead people 4000 years ago wouldn't have understood what the frick.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >If God had written about evolution instead people 4000 years ago wouldn't have understood what the frick.
      Couldn't he have just used his magic powers to make people understand it?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      So God lied. I thought that's what Satan does?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        No, evolution is the lie.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          This stupid flood makes the most unlikely evolution completely necessary! I am a creationist who rejects this narrative

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >be god
      >be the smartest being in existence
      >can’t teach a bunch of goat frickers about evolution
      Lol

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    That one was a rip off though

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    The problem is you're viewing God as a twelve-year-old girl.
    God does not need you to believe in Him.

    Try imagining God as the Almighty Creator and everything will make sense.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      An Almighty Creator needs to write fake bullshit stories to try and impress his audience?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        That would be a good point, if it was fake.

        https://i.imgur.com/WjVFVcn.jpg

        Why did God fill his holy book with moronic fake stories if he wanted me to believe and be saved?

        The problem is you're viewing God as a twelve-year-old girl.
        God does not need you to believe in Him.

        Try imagining God as the Almighty Creator and everything will make sense.

        It was a regional flood and the story is true.

        It rained for 40 days and water covered the surface of the entire earth.

        Why is this hard to believe?

        >It snowed for 100,000 years.
        >Yeah, cool, makes sense.
        >It rained for 40 days.
        >wut kek u hear this clown!!?!?

        What is wrong with your intellect?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >covered the surface of the entire earth
          Earth with a lower case E, not upper case. It's about the land, as in the soil, not the planet Earth. The same Hebrew word Eretz is used to describe regions, like the land of Israel, the land of Egypt, etc. Also, the Bible says that when Joseph governed in Egypt, "the entire world" came to Egypt during the famine. Does it mean people came from all over the planet to Egypt, or simply that many people from far and wide came to Egypt?
          >What is wrong with your intellect?
          If it were a global flood, we would see it in the archaeological record. Instead, we use continuity in ancient cultures before and after the time of the flood with no interruption.

          So you're just making shit up.

          I don't know how things actually were and neither do you, but the regional flood is possible and if you want to insist that it couldn't have happened you have to prove it.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            *we see continuity

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Earth with a lower case E, not upper case.

            How can you tell this from the Hebrew? Are you making shit up again?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Good English translations have a lower case E, because the Hebrew word Eretz refers to land, soil, etc.

          • 4 months ago
            Chud Anon

            >the entire world" came to Egypt during the famine. Does it mean people came from all over the planet to Egypt, or simply that many people from far and wide came to Egypt?

            It’s obvious what the Hebrews meant.

            Why does the Bible never mention South America or east Asia? Because they didn’t know they existed.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          And Noah fit all those animals on that boat and after it landed they spread all over the earth and evolved into millions of other species in only 4,000 years, kangaroos leaving no trace of their migration to Australia. Fricking moronic.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Fricking moronic.
            That's how I would describe this petty rebuttal.

            >covered the surface of the entire earth
            Earth with a lower case E, not upper case. It's about the land, as in the soil, not the planet Earth. The same Hebrew word Eretz is used to describe regions, like the land of Israel, the land of Egypt, etc. Also, the Bible says that when Joseph governed in Egypt, "the entire world" came to Egypt during the famine. Does it mean people came from all over the planet to Egypt, or simply that many people from far and wide came to Egypt?
            >What is wrong with your intellect?
            If it were a global flood, we would see it in the archaeological record. Instead, we use continuity in ancient cultures before and after the time of the flood with no interruption.

            [...]
            I don't know how things actually were and neither do you, but the regional flood is possible and if you want to insist that it couldn't have happened you have to prove it.

            >"the entire world" came to Egypt during the famine
            There it specifies the land of Egypt quite a few times, then says "all the lands" (implying many lands, but not necessarily the entire world), and only then does the verse say "the entire land" (implying the entire earth). I think it's fair to say that given this particular context it could very well only have been Egypt and the surrounding region.

            However by the flood, it says "the entire land" multiple times, and no other language.
            It was clearly the entire earth.

            >If it were a global flood, we would see it in the archaeological record.
            Not so.
            The only argument I've seen from the archeology community is that certain formations could not have been formed from/after the flood.
            Which as you would agreed is quite a ridiculous argument.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Show me where this flood occurred on a map so we can confirm your fairy tales.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            He thinks it's a global flood.

            >Fricking moronic.
            That's how I would describe this petty rebuttal.

            [...]
            >"the entire world" came to Egypt during the famine
            There it specifies the land of Egypt quite a few times, then says "all the lands" (implying many lands, but not necessarily the entire world), and only then does the verse say "the entire land" (implying the entire earth). I think it's fair to say that given this particular context it could very well only have been Egypt and the surrounding region.

            However by the flood, it says "the entire land" multiple times, and no other language.
            It was clearly the entire earth.

            >If it were a global flood, we would see it in the archaeological record.
            Not so.
            The only argument I've seen from the archeology community is that certain formations could not have been formed from/after the flood.
            Which as you would agreed is quite a ridiculous argument.

            It's not clearly the entire Earth, it's all the "earth" as far as Noah was concerned, and in those days people didn't travel huge distances. Another sign it was regional is that when he sent out the dove, it came back because "all the earth" was still covered in water, and yet at the same time, some mountains were visible in the distance. Clearly, all the earth doesn't mean the planet.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Genesis 6:13 And God said to Noah, "The end of all flesh has come before Me, for the earth has become full of robbery because of them, and behold I am destroying them from the earth.
            Emphasis on "all flesh."

            Doves land on trees, not mountains.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, all flesh in that region.

            >the entire world" came to Egypt during the famine. Does it mean people came from all over the planet to Egypt, or simply that many people from far and wide came to Egypt?

            It’s obvious what the Hebrews meant.

            Why does the Bible never mention South America or east Asia? Because they didn’t know they existed.

            I see a claim but no argument.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >7:4 and I will blot out all beings that I have made, off the face of the earth.
            >all beings that I have made
            >all beings

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Truly, all beings where Noah lived were wiped out. None survived. A global flood is not a necessary interpretation.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, but it really is.

            Stop making a joke out of the Lord.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >it really is
            Can you prove it?
            >Stop making a joke out of the Lord
            There was no global flood in 4000 BC. Either you're interpreting the Bible wrong or modern science went spectacularly wrong on the basics. Let's be realistic.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >"Just turn your brain off bro"

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was a regional flood and the story is true.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Show me in a map where this "regional" flood occurred.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        It was somewhere in the Armenian highlands, as that is where Noah lived and that's where he landed after the flood (Ararat Mountains).

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Show me on a map where a mountain range could hold water like a swimming pool for a year without draining. Stop talking out your ass and show it to me.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Valleys are a thing, and floods are a thing. The exact place is not important.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            So you're just making shit up.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's literally a Zoroastrian story

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Proof?

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    sage and hide

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Why did God fill his holy book with moronic fake stories if he wanted me to believe and be saved?
    He didn't.

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    That looks like a paradise, all the animals are enjoying themselves and look pleased and happy, everyone is smiling. In reality it was all doom and gloom. It was a time of death, mourning and destruction. Everyone and everything alive drowned and died except for a handful of chosen creatures in the Ark. It was a miserable and very depressing experience for those inside that Ark.

    You want a beautiful lie you can believe or you want the truth? Th writers werent trying to convince you of a fake god with sugarcoated feel good stories, they were simply recording the historical truth of what actually happened.

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's so that you would realise the stories are not meant be taken as literal truth and instead look within them for a deeper spiritual meaning.

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    YHWH =/= God.

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