Why does God care about whether I stroke my weiner or not

Why does God care about whether I stroke my weiner or not

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    its about purifying your soul

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      What the frick does stroking your wiener have to do with soul purification?

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because religious laws are just arbitrary cultural norms. Hence why every single Christian denomination for the past 2000 years has coped and struggled with trying to be "original Christians" or whatever.

    YWBARJ

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    God laughs at your tiny pp. Just as all females laugh.

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    serious answer: jerking off reminds you of the marvellousness of sex thus putting you in danger of actualising your fantasies with some other fellow's woman leading to destabilisation of family units in the small village communities in which christianity was propounded

    actual answer: god likes watching you frick and wants in on the action

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      What if I’m basically an asexual masturbator?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Do you just jack off while meditating or something

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          No I like naked chicks I just don’t want to have irl sex

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            You're not asexual, just shy

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        asexuality is also sinful

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not OP, but why do you say this? I mean, I'm not exactly even sure what asexuality is. Just curious.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            its a made up sexuality that is part of LGBQWERT

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >being horny… LE BAD
          >not being horny… also LE BAD

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is a moronic lie because I don't fantasize about other men's wives and God gets way more triggered if I fantasize about foreign women who live thousands of miles away than if if I fantasize about white women. Also gangstalking me, accusing me of "adultery", threatening, terrorizing, abusing, harassing, etc me is way more "destabilizing" because there is a much higher chance of me killing or seriously injuring gangstalkers than there is of me having sex with anyone, and I wouldn't have sex with someone's wife.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        calm down dude it's the threat of it not the reality

        if you don't do it someone else might and you're not the only person in that little village community of yours

        at least that's how the original thinking went

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    God wants you to be fruitful and multiply, not burn in lust alone. And the act of love is not a sin within marriage.
    >if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.-1 Cor 7:9
    Work on resolving this. Only some men are called to single status.
    But this also begs the question of porn addicts who also married. If you ask many women, they consider it a form of unfaithfulness or lack of love for them.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is Oyish, so if I can be honest with (you) all, I have my suspicion that Paul (the humble) was either an incel, or a closet/supressed sodomite. I could be wrong, but his writings leave that impression on me.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        He was a saint, whose clothes became relics even in his own day and could commit miracles and cast out demons. If this was an JRPG, his power levels were off the charts. Paul is awesome and I'm tired of pretending he's not.
        >Now God worked unusual miracles by the hands of Paul, so that even handkerchiefs or aprons were brought from his body to the sick, and the diseases left them and the evil spirits went out of them. Then some of the itinerant israeli exorcists took it upon themselves to call the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, “We exorcise you by the Jesus whom Paul preaches.” Also there were seven sons of Sceva, a israeli chief priest, who did so.
        >And the evil spirit answered and said, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?”-Acts 19:11-15

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Incel
        I think this hypothesis can be discarded
        >Marriages were arranged by parents
        >He was an influential religious leader
        >Priests did not have to be celibate yet
        If he wanted a wife hecould just marry one of his follower's daughters;most of them would feel honored

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm not sure his age, but I imagine he was a little young in his Pharisee days. An up and coming zealot who had his whole life ahead of him.. and probably would have gotten married..but Christ turned it upside down.
          But Apostles and other offices weren't necessarily called to be celibate, you're right. St. Peter was married. The gospels mention Jesus healing his mother in law, so she must've accompanied him all of those years.

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    because sex has its place in a proper context and being a slave to porn isn't one of them

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Exodus 20:5

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You could be doing something constructive instead.

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's like any skill.
    You can get really REALLY good at it.
    To the point that it's all you'll ever do, and ever want to do.
    You will become one.....with your penis.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      We used to call these people dicks and dickheads. Sssssschmuck.

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    He doesn't.

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    He doesn't. Your parents just didn't want to hear you jacking off at night

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nobody has to hear me jerking off when they're sleeping idiot

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    8 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
    19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
    20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's for your own good
      Men wasting their lifeforce in their hand is moronic
      At least frick someone for God sake
      Maybe you make a child not SO loser like yourself

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Men wasting their lifeforce in their hand
        Source: some ancient superstition

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Dur let me cum in My hand !
          Dude go balls on it if You want i'm saying fapping to anime girls or porn is pretty moronic

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