So what happens in heaven? Will God let me workout, read books and play videogames all day?

So what happens in heaven? Will God let me workout, read books and play videogames all day?

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You will get 72 virgins and you will have to make every one of them cum once a day, every day, forever

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      What kind of virgins are we talking about here?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        random selection from biologically mature people who died as virgins

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Virgins from Oyish of course.
        Bet they don't tell this to allahu akbar suicide warriors though.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Oh shit, imagine having to make Anon cum, except 72 times a day.
          They're not all /d/ regulars, are they?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      What for?

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    nothing. Being dead is the same as not being born yet, you are in total communion with God.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >nothing
      I wonder about what happens during the moments when your body progressively stops functioning and your consciousness starts fading away. I guess part of it depends on the way you die.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Grim. I would rather live and disappear as myself than continue as a pore on someone else.

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They gave caesar a late roman tunic

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Continuation!! Even in heaven, you will find even more things but there is life!

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You can't feel anything except happiness in heaven, so pretty much any form of entertainment than can cause frustration or sadness is out. You can't also feel arousal in heaven because that's sinful, so sex and anything related to sex is out of question.

    According to the Bible you will be basically a drone without free will singing hymns to god for all eternity.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >According to the Bible you will be basically a drone without free will singing hymns to god for all eternity.
      Yeah but it will be awesome. Way better than vidya or sex.

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Theoretically I suppose you could. Your body won't have any physical stress I think due to it being a "perfected" body but maybe you could impose limitations on yourself to enjoy the process of working out. As for videogames and books you are not omniscient in heaven (only God is omniscient) so yes I could extrapolate that you'd be able to play video games and read or whatever.
    You don't lose free will in heaven, but since you are a perfected or restored version of yourself you will simply choose not to ever sin again.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's moronic. According to the Bible even thinking about sinning is already a sin. How can you play video games and not sin? In the majority of them you kill your enemies.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's not a sin to "kill" virtual amalgamations of pixels anon

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I keep praying for wings, so maybe I'll get to swoop around and soar and stuff

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You'll be forced to give rimjobs to old men. They don't clean their buttholes very well.

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yes

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You'll get everything you've ever wanted. There will be no more pain or struggle. Its a place where nothing ever happens, and you can never leave even if you want to. In other words its an awful place, and people who use it as a cope for dealing with existentialism typically don't put much thought into it.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >people get bored of everything they ever wanted
      >they choose to leave heaven and go back to being alive, rebirth themselves
      there has to be a book or something with this premise, right?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >a book or something with this premise
        Yeah, Hinduisn, Buddhism, and Jainism. Even if you become a deva or asura in other lives your fricking off in pure bliss burns away karma and you can end up being born as a person again.

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You get to watch muslims burning in Hell.

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    As far as I understood it, when everyone becomes reborn in their heavenly body that is freed from sin and all ways to make you sin you're then given your own space to live in how you please. From there you can go sing hymns together to God, do random stuff you enjoy doing, I remember either reading or being told there's still an expectation to work in Heaven but it's more like tending to gardens and stuff than literally working, talk to people, etc. I assume there will still be familial acquaintances since you're obviously still gonna remember your time back on Earth and who you were since God doesn't exactly want robots, it'll just be that you're not exactly in the same relationship you were as on Earth.

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